Feb. 6th, 2008

No Time!!

Feb. 6th, 2008 01:05 pm
hestiaschild: (Typical)
 Got the swap stuff, talked to a friend, even though I had to go, and I told her I would call her back, but I never got the chance. I hate the fact that my life takes up so much of my time. So hectic ,so hurried.

I called her because she was the friend who I haven't talked to for the longest time. I have a running list. If I haven't called you yet, it's because I have so many other people to check in with.

If this sounds pompous, I really hope you can understand that it is not my intention. I just got an ear blistering from my stepmother and father day before yesterday because I don't call very often, and I very rarely have time to call on birthdays...so even my own FAMILY is complaining about how I have fallen off the face of the Earth.

I can't help it. I guess I could, but then I would be so tired I couldn't function. I would much rather take a small bite and chew it well instead of taking a big bite and choking.

I know that doesn't make sense, but hey. I'm doing what I can.

It's just that I want to be everywhere and doing what I can for everybody...and I used to be able to.

Now I'm married, and I'm living with the Bolivians and the other white meat. Living with family takes up a LOT of time...and sometimes...all I want is to be able to just take some time for myself and relax. Just to go within, and do a little self-check, take notice of what's changed, what's still the same...

I don't know. I just don't want people to think that I'm ignoring them, or mad at them, or just don't want to be with them.

I do. I really really do. I just need more time. Or money, so that I can quit my job and dedicate my life to being there for my loved ones. That would be good.

I want to start my own business so that I can take more control of my day. That would be fantastic...

I was thinking about it last night. I just don't know how to get started really. I know the plan, I know how you're supposed to do it...I just don't know how I'm going to get the capital to get it started.

Maybe with the declining economy, the gov't will be willing to help me out. I have to look into it. 

It will have to happen after tax season, though.

Here's to a crazy, hare-brained scheme!!

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hestiaschild

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